Open and Close

The other night (early morning), while I was burping you, you discovered that you can control your hands, open and close. After a few moments you shifted your attention to your left hand and proceed to open and close. At one point you looked at me almost as if you were saying, "woah mommy, how cool is this?" I tried to capture this beautiful discovery so I would never forget.

Despite how often I wake up in the middle of the night, either because of your crying, fussing, or just because I worry, I don't mind the time we spend in your nursery. Yes, I'm tired and I don't rush to you the moment you start to fuss, but once I'm in there, you're the only thing that matters. I love nursing you then holding you while you drift off to sleep. That doesn't always happen but when it does, my heart is full.

Cereal

We gave you rice cereal tonight - and you actually liked it! That just goes to prove that we know nothing about parenting and you continue to surprise us. 

You also started to say "A Da-Da"

5 Months Old

Baby girl

I can't promise this letter will be well written, but I'm writing to you because you need to know how deeply, head over heals, in love I am with you. And it's been awhile since I've written an update. I need to put to words how wonderful you are and how precious you are to me. 

Alaythea Grace, my sweet sweet baby girl. For so long I prayed for you.  So many years I've longed to be a mommy and despite the hard first 3 months - it was worth it. 

Every second. 

I wouldn't change a single thing. 

3 Days Old

4 Days Old 

6 Days Old

The first few weeks you were home, while I put you to bed I would just hold you, rock you, and sit there crying tears of complete and utter joy for my healthy, beautiful baby girl. (It also may have had something to do with my hormones all out of whack and running on about 4 hours of sleep, but there was a true joy, that I have never felt until I held you for the first time) I thanked God over and over for blessing me with the ability to have a child, to be able to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery, the ability to nurse, and to hold you. 

You my sweet baby have filled my heart with so much joy and love that it often feels so full that it overflows. And the only way the bursting pure joy can escape me is with happy tears. My heart just can't stand it.

One Month Old

One of my favorite things to do was (and still is) to put my cheek on your face and smell your skin. That has to be one of the most beautiful things about being able to rock you to sleep. 

You turned 2 months and started to get a lot more head strength.

Daddy helping you burp

You also had more peaceful waking moments.

Tummy Time

You started to smile at me

Helping me make apple crisp

 You started to soak in your environment and really start to concentrate

Your daddy and I continued to fall madly, deeply, in love with you

And can you blame us...just look at those eyes.

At three months old you still were not taking regular or long naps. Some days I had to hold you just so you could sleep. At times I got frustrated because I couldn't get housework done. But one thing I tried very hard not to do is let housework or any other work come in between time with you. I keep hearing this will go fast that I'm always trying my hardest to put you first and soak in every moment I get with you. You won't always be this small and you won't always need me. 

So I let you fall asleep nursing and I'd hold you.

And I held you. 

You started to develop a charming, sweet personality

At four months your development seems to have really taken off. You have rolled from your belly to back and back to belly. You're not a fan of it, but you've done it! You can sit with help. You're so strong! You're LAUGHING! Oh are you laughing. It has to be one of the best sounds in the world. You also enjoy when I read you books!

Christmas Morning

You're five months old now and I feel like so much time has passed. So much I want to teach you. So much I want to change in myself before you learn from my bad habits. I don't want to have any regrets or missed out time with you. I will try my hardest to document all the special moments with you. 

I love you my Gracie girl

You're Here

My Sweet Alaythea Grace,
It's been so long since I've written. This should be a clear sign to you just how busy, and tiring, it is being a new mommy, who also works part time. You're currently down for a nap in your crib. You were fussy in your bouncy seat so I changed you then laid you down - wide awake - in your crib. This is a first for us so we'll see how you do. You don't like to take naps. I think it's because you're afraid you'll miss out on all the fun...just like mama.

Someday I will write your birth story but in the mean time I thought I'd catch you up on what life has been like for the last 3.5 months.

The first few weeks were horrible. It wasn't at all what I thought. You cried...a lot. You nursed...a lot. You slept...a lot. And you pooped...a lot! And that's about all you did. Your daddy and I didn't get much sleep and we pretty much took turns holding you and changing you and nursing, oh wait just I nursed you :) You didn't like to sleep unless we held you - upright. When you were awake you didn't like to be held.

Everything I thought would happen, like with most newborns, wasn't at all how you were. I thought I could hold you, like a baby, and that when you were awake I could hold you, and you wouldn't fuss. After every feeding you would scream. It wasn't until you were 5 weeks old that we got you on a beautiful drug called Zantac. Nunu spent 8 hours with you and learned that I wasn't making things up, you were in pain and made a quick call to your doctor and got you on the drugs! Yay for Nunu and drugs!

You HATED being passed around, still do, which made the constant flow of visitors even more stressful. We have a TON of people that love us and that now love you! It was very hard as a new mommy to have all that attention. Everyone wanted to bring us meals and hold you and chat. And all I wanted was food, sleep, quite, and wine. Fortunately, the guests didn't stay long, but it was so hard on me. It was good for your daddy to have other people around to help take care of you and to talk to someone other than his zombie wife...but that first week was hard.

Although you were (and are) so beautiful that it made it really easy to put up with all the crying, poop and painful nursing sessions.

This was the day after we brought you home...just look at that beautiful face. 

After we got you on Zantac you started to be less fussy. You were fine during the days, but right when daddy got home you would start your 3-4 hours crying fest and that's all daddy heard from you. It was hard for you two to bond.

One Week Old

Alaythea Grace,
Today you're one week old! So much has changed in your dad and I's life and I couldn't be happier. All of the fears I had a few weeks ago have slipped my mind as I have turned auto pilot on and survive the day. I have loved every minute of motherhood and I am so excited for these next few weeks that you and I have together.

We're working on helping you sleep without being held and sometimes it's the hardest thing to put in down. I love holding you, kissing your head, smelling you close to me and hearing your squeaks. I know it's good for us but it doesn't mean it's easy.

I've learned somethings in these last few weeks that I never thought I would:

1. Being a mom is awesome
2. I can survive on intervals of 2 hours a sleep with a total of 4-6 hours a night.
3. I now understand what women mean when they say breast feeding is the most wonderful things a mother can do.
4. Taking a shower really does make you feel like a new woman.
5. Your dad and I have never discussed poop as much as we have this week.

Happy Birthday Alaythea Grace!

Today you were born

7 lbs. 1 oz. 21 inches

And you're more beautiful and healthy than I ever imagined.

I'm proud of myself for all the hard work it took to get you into this world,

I'm proud of your daddy for the way he loves and cares for you,

I'm proud of you for being so strong and understanding of our learning curve.

You're our perfect baby girl

and we couldn't be happier to be your parents.

Bump 39 Weeks!

How far along: 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 34?

Maternity clothes: Yes

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Stretch marks: Just the tiny one where my stupid piercing was
Sleep: I've been sleeping great except I'm up to two potty breaks a night

Food cravings: Lofthouse cookies! I wouldn't call it a craving, but I love my morning PB&J toast and my evening Frosted Mini Wheat snack!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not at all. 
Best moment(s) this week: Resting, 

Worst moment(s) this week: Waiting for you!

Miss Anything: Many things...shaving my legs without taking breaks to breath, putting lotion on my feet, my wedding rings, seeing my feet...

Movement: Yes, although not as much as usual. I think you're running out of room!
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and anxious
Weekly Wisdom: Yoga Ball, and give into a craving every now and then :)

Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week swollen and puffy, BHs are more frequent, right hand it almost always a little numb, I wake up with numb and tingly hands every morning, lower back pain and cramps, possibly losing my mucus plug (lovely - I know).

Looking forward to: Meeting you!