I now understand why people say to wait 5 years after being married to have a baby or to start a family. It is so important to have a firm marital foundation of love and security before you bring another life into this crazy world.
Marriage is a wonderful way to learn selfless love.
Your dad does not NEED me to survive, but I have learned that things run more smoothly around the house when his laundry is done and ready for work the next day, or when I plan the meals, cook dinner for him and keep the house clean (most of the time).
Just like I don't NEED your father to survive it makes my life much easier when he handles all our bills, financial decisions (we discuss every large purchase thoroughly before decisions are made, but ultimately I let him decide), and when he does the mowing/shoveling and most of the yard work it makes my life easier. We do these things for each other not because we are incapable but because we are better at those skills and we selflessly put our pride aside and serve each other in ways the other may fall short.
Today is your dad and I's 5 year anniversary. We've been through a lot in these last 5 years. Some good and some bad. There are many things I wish I could go back to do differently, but I can't. However, I have learned from those mistakes and try my hardest not to repeat them. Despite my regrets, there are many things that I'm happy and proud that we have instilled early in our marriage.
The love I have for you daddy today is far deeper than I thought I could ever love him. He can still give me a giddy grin and butterflies when he looks/speaks/kisses me but not nearly as frequent as our dating, engagement, and first year of marriage. With the loss of those frequent giddy grins and butterflies we deepened our relationship to a whole new level. Our love, patience, understanding, communication, kindness, forgiveness, and friendship has grown to a new level of gratitude, servitude and stability.
That time from having frequent butterflies to stability is exactly what you need to have to have a firm relationship before your baby comes.It took us about 3+ years of marriage and living together to not be as selfish, and harsh with one another. We still have days when we annoy each other, but we just say we had a bad day, or just stay clear of one another for a while and don't take it personally. We still kiss goodnight and are fine by morning. But we've learned to talk through our anger and disagreements and not hold grudges like we might have in the past.
I'm so happy we waited to have you when we did. I know life will get much crazier when there are 3 of us in the house and I'm sure there is a lot that we will need to change, but until that time comes I'm confident that our marriage will be able to handle the addition to our little family.
I know that these next 5 years with your and (and soon YOU!) are going to be even better than the first 5 years! We're so excited to get to meet you soon and we pray that you too will wait a few years after your married to have your first baby, because you need to learn selfless love, and security with your husband before you and can selflessly love and provide security for a baby.
Love, Mama
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