Happy Birthday Alaythea Grace!

Today you were born

7 lbs. 1 oz. 21 inches

And you're more beautiful and healthy than I ever imagined.

I'm proud of myself for all the hard work it took to get you into this world,

I'm proud of your daddy for the way he loves and cares for you,

I'm proud of you for being so strong and understanding of our learning curve.

You're our perfect baby girl

and we couldn't be happier to be your parents.

Bump 39 Weeks!

How far along: 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 34?

Maternity clothes: Yes

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Stretch marks: Just the tiny one where my stupid piercing was
Sleep: I've been sleeping great except I'm up to two potty breaks a night

Food cravings: Lofthouse cookies! I wouldn't call it a craving, but I love my morning PB&J toast and my evening Frosted Mini Wheat snack!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not at all. 
Best moment(s) this week: Resting, 

Worst moment(s) this week: Waiting for you!

Miss Anything: Many things...shaving my legs without taking breaks to breath, putting lotion on my feet, my wedding rings, seeing my feet...

Movement: Yes, although not as much as usual. I think you're running out of room!
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and anxious
Weekly Wisdom: Yoga Ball, and give into a craving every now and then :)

Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week swollen and puffy, BHs are more frequent, right hand it almost always a little numb, I wake up with numb and tingly hands every morning, lower back pain and cramps, possibly losing my mucus plug (lovely - I know).

Looking forward to: Meeting you!

THIS is what "Any day now" looks like...

I couldn't help but remember my first offensive comment the other night as I put on the same tank top I wore when I was 26ish weeks (photo on the left). Now being 38ish weeks (photo on the right) I have to laugh that THIS is what "any day now" looks like...clearly there is a difference. 

Cravings part II

Your dad is pretty much the best...

...and they're even pink :)

letter #20

My baby girl,

So many people are getting very excited to meet you. This week I started getting a lot of texts and emails from people saying they are praying for us. And can actually hear the excitement in their written words.

With every little pain or slight discomfort, I convince myself that I'm going into labor. I know the exhaustion will only get worse, but all of these false "signs" are tiring. We still have one week until you're officially ready, so I'm not sure why this anticipation is getting so hard.

I still don't feel ready for you. The nursery is as done as it's going to be, you have enough clothes - and they're all clean - your carseat is installed, the diaper bag is packed and we have enough diapers to last us at least 9 months (give or take). But emotionally I just don't feel ready. I feel like I am too young to be having a child of my own. I'm too immature to be responsible for another human. It's a little funny, I'm 27 and feel too young. Maybe inexperienced is a better word. I always thought I'd have things figured out, I'd be wiser, more fit, more confident, but I guess there are some things you just can't prepare enough for.

Love your anxious mama

Cravings...

I've been wanting Lofthouse sugar cookies since last night - I know that does not seem like a long time, but trust me, it's been hard to resist driving to the store! Lofthouse cookies are probably my all time favorite store bought cookie and possibly even my favorite cookie. I'm not sure what's wrong with me that I love store bought cookies that much but they are like crack and I need a fix! 

Instead I'm settling for some fresh juicy peaches and delicious ripe raspberries. You always get super wiggly after I eat a healthy dose of fresh fruit...

...but for some reason that didn't give this crack head her fix...

Bump 38 Weeks!

How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 31 (apparently I made up for the weight loss :))

Maternity clothes: Yes

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Stretch marks: Still just the tiny one where my piercing was
Sleep: I've been sleeping great until my bathroom(s) breaks then go right back to sleep. I've been tempted to crawl to the bathroom a few times because my body aches when I first wake up...but then I think getting up from the floor would be harder than rolling out of bed so I suck it up and walk the 10 steps to the bathroom.

Food cravings: Same as the last few weeks, ice, ice water, peanut butter & grape jelly toast still and really loving Frosted Mini Wheat!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Best moment(s) this week: Resting, making you hair bows, going on a date with daddy (Jeff's Coney's), going to the pool, I spent a few hours prepping food and snacks for the week. 

Worst moment(s) this week: Just being patient waiting for you!

Miss Anything: Many things...

Movement: Yes
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and anxious
Weekly Wisdom: Float in a pool...it's amazing and keep up the yoga ball!

Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week swollen and puffy, BHs are more frequent, I usually wake up with swollen and numb hands. My hands feel like they are filled up water gloves. Pretty sexy. I've been having some cramps. I'm also ALMOST 2 cm!

Looking forward to: Meeting you!

In Other News...

I made you headbands! 

I made this one for you to wear when you and daddy watch the Cowboys!

What's in my diaper bag?

I packed your bag the other night. I hope I'm not forgetting anything!

1. Hooter Hider (classy name right?!) 2. Blankets 3. Socks 4. Hand mittens 5. Hats 6. Sleep Sacks 7. Wipes and diapers 8. Desitin 9. Baby powder 10. Trash bags and a refill 11. Hand sanitizer 12. Aquaphor 13. Nail clippers 14. Lanolin 15. Pacifiers 16. Nursing pads 17. Going home outfit 18. Hand wipes

Bump 37 Weeks!

How far along: 37 weeks & 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: 29 (I lost a pound from the last visit!)

Maternity clothes: Yes

Have you started to show yet: Clearly this is a yes! (horizontal stripes don't hide this!)
Stretch marks: Still just the tiny one where my piercing was
Sleep: Doing better than I was a few weeks ago. I do get up at least once a night, the most I went this week was 3 times in one night. When I wake up my belly is in pain from being on my side for so long. I'll typically wake up with a big BH and nervous that I was squishing you all night!

Food cravings: Ice, ice water, peanut butter & grape jelly toast still and really loving Frosted Mini Wheat!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Best moment(s) this week: SEEING YOUR FACE! We had an ultrasound on Wednesday (because I was measuring small) and we got to see your face! You also opened and shut your mouth for us! Your daddy said he was disappointed we didn't get to see all of you but your too big now. We both think you're already the cutest baby we've ever seen! You weigh 6 lbs. 10 oz! I also enjoyed going on a picnic with your daddy! We got the carpets cleaned on Saturday so were trying to think of something fun to do while they dried. I did all of your laundry (newborn to 0-3 months) washed all your blankets and other washable baby stuff. I installed your carseat and packed your hospital bag! It was a busy weekend but I got a lot done and prepared for you. I also went to the pool 3 times this weekend. It was amazing.

Worst moment(s) this week: Being so slow when walking!

Miss Anything: Lots

Movement: Yes - you're a crazy girl!
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and nervous!
Weekly Wisdom: Go swimming as much as possible!

Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week swollen and puffy, BHs are more frequent, I usually wake up with swollen and numb hands. I also wake up with a puffy face!

Looking forward to: Attempting to make you a few headbands and of course seeing your face in person and being able to kiss those chubby cheeks! 

In Other News...

Just look at your face...the most beautiful baby I've ever seen...

On our picnic

What's in my Hospital Bag

I just packed my hospital bag...Now what am I forgetting?!

1. Robe I don't mind getting dirty 2. Zip-up light jacket 3. Nursing Tank 4. 2 Nursing Bras 5. 2 Pairs of grip socks 6. 3 Pairs of granny panties 7. Bathroom bag 8. 2 Loose fitting comfy tops 9. Comfy shorts and sweats 10. Going home outfit - Black sweats and a white loose top

1. Shampoo/Conditioner 2. Bar soap 3. Face wash 4. Razor (just in case!) 5. #1 Favorite chap stick 6. Body and Face lotion 7. Deodorant 8. Lanolin 9. Contact case, contact solution and extra contacts 10. Mousse 11. Make-up remover 12. Extra hair ties and bobby pins 13. Lavender spray (for labor) 14. Prenatal vitamins 15. Q-tips 16. Toothbrush, floss and toothpaste 

Don't forget:

Glasses and glasses case

Night guard and case

Blow dryer, diffuser, straightener and hair brush

Make up

Camera and camera bag

Phone charger

letter to baby #19

My little girl,

The anticipation of your arrival has made me feel like I've been pregnant for 2 years. On the other hand, knowing (or thinking I know) the physical, emotional, and financial responsibilities it takes to have and raise a child makes me feel like pregnancy just isn't quite long enough. 

I'm going to be very honest with you and someday you'll understand just what I'm feeling. 

I am scared. 

I'm scared to give birth, even though everyone says I'll be fine, we just don't know for sure what all could go wrong and just how painful this is going to be. I'm scared that I won't have enough energy to stay up with you, feed you, continue working, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and maintaing my home. That I might not know what each cry means. I'm scared that I'll struggle with post pardum depression. 

That your dad and I will be so exhausted from lack of sleep and undergoing such an emotional change that we'll say unkind things to each other. I'm scared the distractions of our new life will push your dad and I apart. I might not be able to nurse. I'm scared that something will happen to your dad and it will be just me and you - on our own.

Tonight I was working on your welcome home chalkboard and started to ball my eyes out thinking you might not ever make it "home." 10,000 Reasons was playing on Pandora and I had to tell myself that whatever does happen, it's all a part of God's perfect plan, and that there will always be "10,000 reasons to for my heart to sing." I then began to sob even harder thinking that God does have the power to take you from me, and I'll need to be OK with that.

The blessing in that very sad (and probably irrational) moment was the harder I cried, the harder you kicked and wiggled. I wrapped my arms around my belly and thanked God for the moments I have had with you. For the tiny kicks you've given me, for the stretches and flips that I've been able to feel. I might not ever be able to get pregnant again, or be able to bring you into our home, but I will get to meet you someday. I felt like your kicks were my reminder that I should enjoy what I have now and now worry about the future - that's out of my control.

There are so many other fears I have about becoming a mother, but I just can't dwell on all of them. Even though I'm terrified about so many aspects of motherhood, I'm also excited and up for the challenge. 

I know I'm contradicting myself going from fear to excitement - but that's what happens to women (it's not just the pregnancy hormones!)

With everyday, the fear slowly drips away (unless of course I have a crazy irrational scenario run through my mind in a downward spiral) and the excitement has started to build.

I had a dream a few weeks ago that you were here. And you were beautiful! I woke up so excited to meet you.

I can't wait to snuggle with you on the couch, let you sleep on my chest, change your diapers (yes, I'm excited for that - I'll probably change my mind a few weeks after your born), give you baths, listen to you make squeaks and coos. I can't wait to watch you kick your crazy legs, you certainly move them a lot now!

And what I think I'm most excited about it watching you and your daddy cuddle. My heart already melts at the idea of watching him care for you.

Love,

your anxious, excited, and possibly irrational Mama

Bump 36 weeks!

How far along: 36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 30+

Maternity clothes: Yes, although I can still squeeze into some "normal" clothes!

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Stretch marks: Very tiny one where my belly button piercing once was (don't EVER pierce your belly button! It's not cute, no matter how old you are. I was stupid.)
Sleep: Been a better week! I got to sleep past 9am Saturday AND Sunday!

Food cravings: Ice, ice water, peanut butter & grape jelly toast still
Anything making you queasy or sick: No
Best moment(s) this week: Having Thursday off for the 4th of July - I cleaned the kitchen so my spring cleaning is almost done! We went to some friends for fireworks Thursday and Friday and officially celebrated our 5 year anniversary by going to Outback Saturday night!

Worst moment(s) this week: Feeling super swollen this week. 

Miss Anything: Lots

Movement: Yes!
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and nervous!
Weekly Wisdom: Prop your feet up as much as possible!

Symptoms: Very swollen and puffy, BHs are more frequent, I usually wake up with swollen and numb hands. I also wake up with a puffy face!

Looking forward to: Finishing up my spring cleaning. Having another ultrasound this week! Then doing your laundry (I wanted to wait until we OFFICIALLY know that you're a girl before we wash all your clothes!).

In Other News...

Kari made a very yummy mock-tail, it tasted a little like a margarita sans tequila :) We enjoyed our tasty drinks on the bird couch chatting and laughing the night away - like usual. I don't have the recipe but it was orange juice, grapefruit juice, frozen limeade, and ice all mixed together with a blender. 

Before our Outback date night...

Happy 4th of July!

I cannot wait to make you little festive snacks and meals like this! We now have less than 4 weeks until we can kiss your sweet face. 

Until then enjoy your comfy warm space and keep growing big and strong.

Bump 35 weeks!

How far along: 35 weeks & 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: 30 (whoa mama!)

Maternity clothes: Yes, White shirt from Gap and I love my borrowed maternity shorts!

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Stretch marks: No
Sleep: For the most part it's been good. One night after my mid-night potty break I couldn't get back to sleep and moved to the guest room, I slept great! 

Food cravings: Ice, ice water, peanut butter & grape jelly toast - some mornings that's the only thing that will motivate me to get out of bed! And cereal
Anything making you queasy or sick: No
Best moment(s) this week: IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH! Resting, going to your dad's softball game and chatting with Kari, finishing the nursery (I actually cried a little when I hung the last frame on the wall. I was happy to be done then realized you're almost here and got really nervous) and going to Nana and Papa Tom's (photos below)

Worst moment(s) this week: Feeling uncomfortable, not being able to catch my breath, feeling some cramps, and not being able to shop with Nana like I use to.

Miss Anything: Seeing my feet, sleeping on my belly, energy...yeah, I'm feeling a tad uncomfortable - but nothing major!

Movement: Yes, you're so busy!!
Belly Button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Mood: Happy and nervous!
Weekly Wisdom: Get a pedicure! But be careful they don't rub any pressure points. Most places will know not to, but make sure they know your pregnant before they start rubbing!

Symptoms: Swollen feet and fingers. Having a harder time breathing. Half way through my morning routine of getting ready my right hand will go a little tingly and numb, almost like it's fallen asleep. Heart burn (*Note to self* Don't eat 4 pieces of pizza when you're 8 months pregnant - it's not comfortable), tons of BHs! AND at the doctor today I found out I'm 1 cm dilated! When the doctor asked if I had any more questions after my exam, I so badly wanted to ask if I really had to give birth! I'm getting very nervous about labor!

Looking forward to: Finishing up my spring cleaning (didn't get to do that last week, due to lack of energy). Prepping your bottle washing station. Packing your bag (for the 4th official last time) packing my bag, putting the carseat in the car and I'm also excited to set up your cradle in our room! I'm praying I can get all of that done next week/weekend since you could come in 2 weeks!

In Other News...

We wanted to get to Carmel one last time before you arrive!
Friday night we had pizza on the front porch with Nana and Papa Tom.

Saturday Uncle Mark, Nana, Papa Tom and I went out to breakfast (your dad slept in). Then Nana and I got pedicures and went to Target. I got some maternity bras and a picture frame for your room that I'll have to paint. Then we went to Uncle Mark's for a cookout

They are trying to be serious

But your dad couldn't keep a straight face

Reece is exploring the broken fence

Uncle Mark manning the grill

Nana and I taking it easy

Reece cuddling with your dad and I

Sunday we took photos on the back deck and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon