Tuesday, July 23, 2013

letter #20

My baby girl,

So many people are getting very excited to meet you. This week I started getting a lot of texts and emails from people saying they are praying for us. And can actually hear the excitement in their written words.

With every little pain or slight discomfort, I convince myself that I'm going into labor. I know the exhaustion will only get worse, but all of these false "signs" are tiring. We still have one week until you're officially ready, so I'm not sure why this anticipation is getting so hard.

I still don't feel ready for you. The nursery is as done as it's going to be, you have enough clothes - and they're all clean - your carseat is installed, the diaper bag is packed and we have enough diapers to last us at least 9 months (give or take). But emotionally I just don't feel ready. I feel like I am too young to be having a child of my own. I'm too immature to be responsible for another human. It's a little funny, I'm 27 and feel too young. Maybe inexperienced is a better word. I always thought I'd have things figured out, I'd be wiser, more fit, more confident, but I guess there are some things you just can't prepare enough for.

Love your anxious mama

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